When Something Permanent Changes, Keep Calm and Change with It

woman looking far out the window

Permanent things are supposed to be that — permanent. Getting married, having children, or landing a good job is important enough that you want to commemorate them with something equally permanent. The problem with this is when a big change occurs — a divorce, loss of a loved one, or career change — you feel like the rug has been pulled under you. It’s not the best time in your life, and you start to wonder if anything can ever be permanent.

The Bad Things Linger

Anyone who’s been through a life-changing ordeal may think that the world is teaching them a harsh lesson. You feel like you can’t — and shouldn’t — trust again. You distance yourself from other people for fear of getting hurt again. You can barely look at yourself in the mirror because all you see are the influences of the person you lost.

Everything you used to do together feels strange because you have to do it by yourself. There’s that crippling feeling of loss — that lingering sadness presenting itself whenever you’re at your most vulnerable. You may think you’ll have a good day today, but one thing happens and suddenly you’re crying once again.

Picking Yourself Up

happy woman, flexing her muscles

A significant loss is not something to brush aside and move on from in a day. It’s alright to take your time. You need to heal and adjust to what has happened. Know that there is no rush when it comes to moving on from a divorce or loss of a loved one.

No matter how short your relationship with the person is, your feelings are valid. Still, you can’t live in this pain forever. Maybe the way to move forward is to let go or make another change, and this time, one that you are choosing yourself.

When people get a haircut after a breakup, that’s exactly what they’re doing. Ex-lovers looking for laser tattoo removal are also doing the same thing. The pain of remembering memories every minute is too much to handle, and you want to move on without it controlling your life. Even a relocation, from one Salt Lake City household to the next, or even out of Utah altogether, may be good for a family that has been through a lot.

Heal in a Good Place

You can’t heal in the same place you got hurt. If you were in an abusive relationship, leaving is the hardest part, but it’s also the door to saving yourself. You may worry that not feeling the loss of a loved one makes other people think you didn’t love them that much.

If you truly loved them and they loved you, they will not want you to live in pain if you can help it. As for career changes, you may feel like you’re back to square one but think of it as rebirth. You have the opportunity to start over and do something better for yourself.

Loss surprises us in many shapes and forms. You weren’t counting on losing something so permanent, but this doesn’t mean your life has to end.

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